"Well actually I just wanted to try out the bouncy castle," he joked. He could have said he came for the drinks and no one would have been absolutely gobsmacked by the revelation. Or that he's just a pervert wanting to watch little girls dance - that might have raised a few eyebrows. He would have said it to Argine's face too if it meant he would get that priceless expression on her face.

But really it would have been impolite to have not turned up. Really, he did want to see Eileen be among friends and cheer up from her slump. Really, he wanted a break from shuffling between papers and dictionaries and brittle pages. And really, he might have wanted Rachel to

"But I think my dimensions exceed the recommended limit."