"I doubt everyone here's actually talking about dancing, Johnny." More likely they're talking about the decorations, or the food, or how well the band is playing - if only because there's only so many things you can actually say about dancing, frankly. And there's probably plenty of gossiping about neighbors and the amount of flashing said neighbors have been doing on the dancefloor. But he can play.

"It looks fun," he says with a shrug, "if you're comfortable doing it. I'm personally not drunk enough to be."