houseofcards_rp | [ota] beware, be canny and careful

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[ota] beware, be canny and careful

She doesn't regret it in the slightest. What's to regret?

Eileen is fully capable of making her own decisions. She's allowed to decide to leave Kevin behind and go visit the Spade dungeon. And someone--she's not certain who--is also fully capable of infinitely childishly telling Kevin exactly where he or she saw his theoretical charge slipping off to while he was turned around. And Kevin is not just capable but essentially required to tell her mother things like where her daughter was this past weekend.

Which means Eileen Eicheln has, for the first time in her life, seen her mother actually angry. It also means, for the first time in her life and very likely one of the first times in history, the Ace of Clubs is grounded.

Mr Kahl is allowed to bring work and keep her up to date with her studies. A student from Mr DeWitt's class is allowed to spend a bit of time letting her know what's she's missed. The King and Jack are certainly permitted to speak to their Ace at their convenience.

But everyone else? Is getting Kevin's most sympathetic smile and a firm shake of his head. "Seems house arrest is catching."

[ooc; Except probably anyone with half a reason can talk to the moodiest tween about how she done wrong. Kevin is secretly easy. Or just come shoot the shit with Kevin, I guess? o/]

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"No."

Probably not, at least. For all the bad she could say of Julien - and there was certainly plenty of that - he wasn't one to develop a romantic interest in a thirteen year old. But in five years, Eileen would be seventeen, and Zoe, at least, could imagine the crush lingering long enough that it would still last through then.

Seventeen year old Eileen Eicheln was probably someone Julien could develop a sexual interest in. Zoe wasn't sure he was capable of love.

"But they probably have particular fears of you developing romantic intentions towards him. And..." She hesitates. "Fears of them deepening into love for him when you're old enough to do something about them, and giving up your family and Suit for a man who could possibly hurt you, even if he didn't intend to."

That was what her story was supposed to be, after all. The high-ranked young Heart who was meant to become Ace and the dangerous Spade who should have broken her heart and ruined her. Well, some people would say Victor had done the latter.

"...that's-- completely ridiculous."

Love is still ridiculous. Deep, romantic love is still strange. Attraction is still uncomfortable and not quite able to be acknowledged without intellectualizing aesthetics and biological maturity.

But her lower lip goes briefly between her teeth. Her attention stays out the window absently.

Completely ridiculous.

"I would never leave the Clubs. Not-- for anyone."

She wonders if she ever felt this kind of allegience to the Hearts. She doesn't think she must have, or it wouldn't have been so easy to slip into being a Spade instead.

"They're still going to worry about you getting hurt," she says, quietly. "That's what parents do." That's what they should do, anyway.

There's a much better, completely appropriately adolescent sigh as she shakes her head, finally looks back at the older girl.

"It's ridiculous. Trading one hurt for another."

Because being here? Knowing they were upset with her? Hurt more badly than she could imagine heartbreak ever would.

"I know that." She smiles a little as she leans forward and tucks back Eileen's hair. "But if it helps, I don't think they want to hurt you. Sometimes, they just can't help it."

It's good to feel understood. Good to feel acknowledged. Good to know that this is something the bulk of teenage girls have to deal with.

Not perfect, of course, but good.

"...Julien doesn't either."

"No, he probably doesn't."

She can't say, really, that Julien has any desire to deliberately hurt Eileen - now, at least. Who knows what will happen in the future, though; he and Victor had been something like friends once. So had he and Lancelot.

"But he's hurt other people before, so you can understand, I think, why your mother would be worried he might do the same to you."

It's a weakness, really. It's a blind spot, and it's something Lancelot would have helped her with far more admirably than anyone else in the world can ever hope to.

Her nod isn't entirely convinced.

"...I suppose."

Maybe he would have. He certainly would have appreciated her position more than anyone else could be expected to - having loved Julien, she supposes, and then having figured out what kind of man he is.

But then, maybe it's something Eileen has to figure out for herself. Argine and Elisha can't protect her from everything.

"So, what are you reading?"

And maybe it's time to change the subject.

There's more than enough to mull over from this conversation. More than enough to feel odd and tired and confused about while she's brooding in her room.

Elisha and Argine will thank Zoë for the first few weeks Eileen avoids Julien like the plague. Then, well.

They'll wonder in the next four years if it helped or if it hurt.

"...Enrst Laas. Der deutsche Aufsatz in den obern Gymnasialklassen." Theology and critique of Kant's transcendentalism isn't her usual cup of tea, but ethics and education through the lens of Hume can't not be interesting, right? "I've been... slacking on my German."

Eventually, they may realize that the Deck is too small a place to remove Eileen entirely from his influence. Maybe they'll remember they've been friends too long for them to be expected to just abruptly split apart. Hopefully they'll remember that they're raising a girl who can think for herself.

And someday, perhaps, Eileen will see for herself just who Julien is, and decide whether that's okay with her or not.

"Ah, the Deck canon." It's said with a faint twitch of a smile; they both know that Laas and Kant are things that most normal thirteen year olds never have to read, and she tilts her head to one side. "Do you ever wish your tutors assigned something like Lois Lowry instead?" The Giver, or Number the Stars. Important books with important lessons, but stories instead of facts and philosophies.

It's a good shift. A genuine shift. Something properly removed from the earlier part of the conversation, enough that she even reaches to tug the piece of pie a little closer.

"No. That's not the sort of thing you necessarily need... guidance to read, I shouldn't think."

She hands Eileen a fork as she shakes her head. "I don't know. I don't really remember having time to read anything like that, on my own time." There'd been lesson after lesson, after all, languages to learn and music to perfect and philosophy to know almost by heart.

And sometimes it seems like the importance of having that time to read and think for yourself gets minimized by teachers who want to make sure their students have a firm basis in all they need to know to be Ace.

"There's time." Like, for example, right now, while grounded and unable to do half the things that usually kept her from having the freedom to read what she wanted.

And she'd chosen Laas. So.

"Perhaps it's just I generally prefer denser stuff."

"Maybe so. It's probably just as well. I have enough trouble hiding my romance novels as it is without getting in trouble for lending them to teenagers."

She didn't have to hide them - and Lowry didn't really count as romance in the least - but the point was the same.

"I suppose you'd like me to leave you to Laas, then."

The point is enough to make a calm bit of a smile flit across the Club's lips. That surely is what counts in this regard.

"I suppose." But first, well. She's got to sit up a little more properly. "Thank you, though."

It's what matters today, and Zoe smiles back as she stands up again.

"You're welcome," she says and moves for the door. "This won't last forever, you know."

The grounding or the hurting or both, she means. But there's no real answer Eileen can give to that, so she just slips through the door.

It won't last forever. What might last forever is the new need to stop and examine her relationships.

Elisha is important. Her mother is important. Zoë is important. Julien is important. They all love her, and she loves all of them.

Just some of them bring her pie, and some of them make her heart flutter. She'd never noticed that before.

Certainly food for thought as she nibbles.

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[ota] beware, be canny and careful

Mothers across the deck are headdesking because she's not a good cautionary tale.

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