houseofcards_rp | [ota] this is just a tribute

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[ota] this is just a tribute

So apparently there are a zillion things going wrong with the Deck these days. Murders and Challenges and hijinks and all the sort of thing which really, well, if the denizens don't expect it by now, they're just not the best at denizen-ing this particular location of denizenship, are they.

So you know who isn't concerned? This Joker.

And you know who is still riding a high from his weekend get-away with his super-best-friend Johniel? Also this Joker. So you know who is ready to talk your ear off about elephants and dyeing silk and macaroni on a stick? Yes, still Cynric. He is, at least, playing very energetically while he babbles.

Seriously, though. Mac and cheese. On a stick. You know you have hours to listen to him talk about that. Don't be shy.

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"I know it in my heart, my friend, I can assure you." Dramatic hand to heart. Perhaps over-dramatic hand to heart, seeing as his coffee's knocked over and spilling across the table onto both of them.

...whoops.

Now, see, Cynric's instinct when large spills happen is to scatter. Hopefully Rap knows this is the plan.

If not, the Joker will see you later, sir, because he's absolutely skedaddling.

He'll feel indignant later. Right now, he's keeping the spill confined to the table and not dripping onto him. And fast-talking the waitress that comes to help him into letting him doodle in the spill a while until it's properly dried. And creating another masterwork of ephemeral art which is quite a good portrait if he does say so himself, even if the waitress whose portrait he's done doesn't quite see it that way.

Later is when he patently refuses to make mac and cheese on a stick.

Then later is when there will be a long period of shock followed by a longer period of wailing. And probably the bargaining for assistance and the forever flopping on the floor lacking the will to live.

There will not be a stage of acceptance. None. Ever.

Can he evict Cynric from his flat or will there be clinging to the doorframe? Either way, Rap is patient. So patient up until his self-appointed bedtime. "Come on. Off the floor."

There will be no eviction. There will only be leg-clinging.

"Not until our friendship and pasta-related dealings have been restored."

Wagging his leg to shake the Joker off apparently isn't helping. Disappointing. "Friendship? Friends don't abandon friends." Huff huff huff. There absolutely isn't a cupboard half full of macaroni in his kitchen.

"D'you promise?" Nothing is breaking this leg-cling but a million zillion promises. "Cross your heart, and hope you're dead 'fore the Queen of Hearts chops off your head?"

Worldliness can't knock all Deck habits out of a mind.

"I'm not seeing you do it." This rebuttal has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Cynric will probably have to remove one arm to do the same. "And she's going to need to build up some arm strength if she wants to make it painless."

"Is painless the point of an execution?"

Not that they're getting sidetracked. Clearly. This is a crucial part of mending their friendship.

"Is if the point's to be a good executioner." And it was the Queen of Hearts they meant, after all. Katya is a wonderful Queen, but Rap has his suspicions that she'll 'slip' if given the duty.

Shake shake shake of the leg. Go on, Cynric.

Nope nope nope. Leg-clinging is a crucial part of this friendship-saving operation. Also is just fun.

"Good for whom?"

"Good t'get it over in one swing. Nothing worse than a spectacle, you know." Does he have to start shoving. Does he. Should he be heading to his bathroom to turn the showerhead at this Joker. "I don't particularly think we're the bread and circuses type these days."

Wait wait wait wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Leg let go of in favour of leaning back with utter incredulity.

"Nothing worse than spectacle?"

Aha! This clearly calls for hopping backwards to defend his pasta cabinet. "Nothing worse than a spectacle with death. Unless you plan to go out with a bang, no one ought to have their execution made into a farce. That's just not on."

"Not on." Look at this agreement. Look at being a good boy who isn't stealing pasta. "But only when death's involved, right?"

He just wants to make sure you're still super-best-friends, Rap. Please.

"Only when someone else's death is involved." This is an important distinction. Suicide and planning one's own funeral should be done with an eye towards how it will turn out.

"And what if it can't be helped?"

At least everyone's distracted from pasta on sticks.

What?

"When can it not be helped?"

He is so puzzled, Cynric. Help.

"What if something spectacular's happening and you can't stop it?" What if you're an observer who hates stepping in and stopping people from being themselves?

"I suppose unless you can make it even more spectacular, it's best to be a witness, then."

Though he might file that thought away for later.

And a big salute to you, sir.

"Duly noted. Committed t' the heart."

He jabs a finger at Cynric's chest. "That's a challenge, you realise, not a rule. Say we try it out the very next time we observe something amazing happening?"

"A challenge?" Oh. Oh, he likes those. Jabbing finger caught for hand-shaking instead.

Hand shook, sir. And doubly shook again for good measure. "We'll keep our eyes open, then."

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hamelinic - 2013-09-03 14:39 (UTC) - Expand

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