Evan McCartney | 4 of Clubs (
bluntforces) wrote in
houseofcards_rp2014-01-08 07:23 am
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[ota] you're gonna go far, kid
There are very few people, particularly in the Deck, who wouldn't describe Evan McCartney as 'an annoyingly happy camper.'
And he is happy. He's happy to be getting his degree sorted out. He's happy to be looking at jobs which will allow him to be productive--to actually use what bit of a brain he has properly, the way it's meant to be used. He's happy to be in love and waking up every morning next to the woman he's in love with. He's happy to run with the dogs and spend afternoons with his parents and run errands for his sister. He's even happy to get into fights with cousins who look down their noses and young idiots who need to get their heads out of a generation far too outdated to still be crafting culture.
He's happy. He's Evan McCartney.
But he's quiet these days. He's not entirely certain why. He's been singing less. Shouting less. Simply moderating his voice far better than he ever has, as if the concept of 'an indoor voice' has sunk in more than twenty years after being introduced. It sits funny in his shoulders.
So he does what he can. He gets up early to study; makes Riley breakfast and takes the dogs on a run. He goes to throw punches at bags until it's time to ice his shoulder and suck on his lip so the bleeding will stop. And he goes, ultimately, to lie on his back in the snowed-upon Green, because he's not entirely certain where to go when a body feels pensive.
Someone should teach him how to do 'pensive.'
And he is happy. He's happy to be getting his degree sorted out. He's happy to be looking at jobs which will allow him to be productive--to actually use what bit of a brain he has properly, the way it's meant to be used. He's happy to be in love and waking up every morning next to the woman he's in love with. He's happy to run with the dogs and spend afternoons with his parents and run errands for his sister. He's even happy to get into fights with cousins who look down their noses and young idiots who need to get their heads out of a generation far too outdated to still be crafting culture.
He's happy. He's Evan McCartney.
But he's quiet these days. He's not entirely certain why. He's been singing less. Shouting less. Simply moderating his voice far better than he ever has, as if the concept of 'an indoor voice' has sunk in more than twenty years after being introduced. It sits funny in his shoulders.
So he does what he can. He gets up early to study; makes Riley breakfast and takes the dogs on a run. He goes to throw punches at bags until it's time to ice his shoulder and suck on his lip so the bleeding will stop. And he goes, ultimately, to lie on his back in the snowed-upon Green, because he's not entirely certain where to go when a body feels pensive.
Someone should teach him how to do 'pensive.'
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"'m stakin' the situation out, y' see."
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"Seasonal work, I'd expect." She nudges his shoulder with hers. "You look...thoughtful." She decides not to say "down" at the last moment.
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Neither was the idea of being thoughtful. There wasn't even anything bad about the lack of being able to actually smile in response to the question. "Am. A little."
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The teasing doesn't stop the concerned study she turns on him. Nothing worse than people asking you if you're 'feeling okay' when you're absolutely fine. Doesn't mean she won't sit up and take notice when someone she cares about isn't acting true to form.
Or maybe they're all just getting older.
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Which, well. Maybe came with separate worries. Evan thinking about a teenage caper and Evan thinking about his own adult life were, after all, worrisome beasts in their own way.
"Just tryin' to get... my land-legs under me, y'know?"
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"Real long time. Which-- seems ridiculous."
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Or maybe it doesn't bother him at all, which in itself might seem strange.
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He wouldn't be loving Riley any less if part of that happiness came in time away.
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And there's a very frustrated huff of breath. It's been hard to articulate for himself, and getting it out--even to a good friend who understood his idiosyncrasies--was coming up short.
"Just I... really wanted t' be able to come home. T' be-- happy livin' here the way my mom and dad were."
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She wasn't sure how open he'd been about his folks and sister and what they expected of him. Even the easiest of families left their marks. Elani, for one, had always wanted him to stay home. Maybe he'd heard his own share of, why can't you settle down and be happy.
And settling down meant staying on the Deck, natch.
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But he can't stop the frowning. Can't not still give a tiny unhappy squirm.
"How'm-- I gonna be a dad, though? If I can't-- stick t' one place?"
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"You do what any good dad who travels does: spend quality time while your home, talk to the kids on the phone or chat or email, bring them presents. Plenty of fathers--and mothers--travel because of work. You saying they're all bad parents?" And now she's serious. "Your folks are wonderful. You learned the important stuff from them--stuff like love and caring and not smothering. There is absolutely, categorically no way you could ever be a bad parent. You wouldn't worry about it now if you were going to be horrible later. Bad parents don't. They don't care."
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Which he was fairly certain would happen--possibly even sooner than later. Which would probably wait for a wedding ring, but how far along could that really be?
There's absolutely a relaxing of his shoulders as he listens. There's absolutely a comfortable slumping against her shoulder properly as she talks. There's nothing in the world like the friends a person takes with them out of childhood. "You sure, Tess?"
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She decides not to tease him about finding a brain of suitable miniscule size. Now's not the time.
"Bet the kids can even go with you sometimes once they're older. If Riley comes along and all. Be good for 'em. How many of us are scared to venture Outside? Your kids won't be. They'll learn how to get along in both worlds." She guesses his work isn't as glamorous or tame as he'd like them all to think, but there must be occasions. Even if there weren't, there'd still be vacations.
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And really, he knows she's right about being able to find a balance. He'd found a balance for staying close to Elani, hadn't he?
And to lovely friends like this one. Lovely friends who clearly needed to be flopped on in a proper pile of limbs and love. "How's things with you, then, 'f I don't have to be pouting around about my own stuff?"