[ota] you're gonna go far, kid

[bluntforces]

There are very few people, particularly in the Deck, who wouldn't describe Evan McCartney as 'an annoyingly happy camper.'

And he is happy. He's happy to be getting his degree sorted out. He's happy to be looking at jobs which will allow him to be productive--to actually use what bit of a brain he has properly, the way it's meant to be used. He's happy to be in love and waking up every morning next to the woman he's in love with. He's happy to run with the dogs and spend afternoons with his parents and run errands for his sister. He's even happy to get into fights with cousins who look down their noses and young idiots who need to get their heads out of a generation far too outdated to still be crafting culture.

He's happy. He's Evan McCartney.

But he's quiet these days. He's not entirely certain why. He's been singing less. Shouting less. Simply moderating his voice far better than he ever has, as if the concept of 'an indoor voice' has sunk in more than twenty years after being introduced. It sits funny in his shoulders.

So he does what he can. He gets up early to study; makes Riley breakfast and takes the dogs on a run. He goes to throw punches at bags until it's time to ice his shoulder and suck on his lip so the bleeding will stop. And he goes, ultimately, to lie on his back in the snowed-upon Green, because he's not entirely certain where to go when a body feels pensive.

Someone should teach him how to do 'pensive.'

Comments

[standlikestone]

She nods, raising his hand to press a kiss to his knuckles. "I know that. I... I can see that much."

[bluntforces]

"Good." Good and important. Good and important and prompting a leaning over for a brief but proper kiss, cold lips to cold lips. "But that ain't stoppin' me from just-- gettin' stir-crazy trying to get used to... being here."

All the time. Without stop. For the longest amount of time he'd been here without stop since childhood.

[standlikestone]

Her breath comes out in a surprised huff at that. "But Evan-- then... why don't you leave? I mean," she hurries to add on, "not forever. But if it's hard, then... there's nothing wrong with going Outside now and then. We could even go together."

[bluntforces]

"Haven't figured out how yet. Can't-- do what I was doin' before."

Particularly not if she wanted to come with him. That was completely out of the picture.

"Besides," and he can't help the sigh. "It's... When I was a kid, you know? I-- wanted t' have a house. Have dogs. Have-- a wife and kids and be-- here. That's been... the whole dream. An' it's-- weird, realizin' that's... maybe not."

[standlikestone]

"If... if you need to find a new dream, then that's what needs to happen." She says quietly, leaning in a little closer for warmth. "And I'll be here to help you. Just... it's... I..."

It's hard to say she worries, in so many words.

[bluntforces]

The sigh is soft. Shifting to kiss her forehead is even softer.

"Dream's still got you in it, y'know?"

[standlikestone]

"You say that as if you could get rid of me at this point," she teases, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment. "I believe you."

[bluntforces]

"Won't ever want to." Would, however, want to tug and get her more sprawled across his lap, away from his sore shoulder. "Y' think we could... raise kids with me poppin' in and out?"

[standlikestone]

The smile eases off her face at that, and she ponders the question seriously as she ducks her cold nose against his scarf. "I don't know," she finally answers honestly, glancing up at him. "I... I don't know that it would work."

[bluntforces]

Well. There's that, then.

"So let's... figure a way for me t' stay here and not go crazy."

Because giving her up wasn't an option. Giving up the dream of marrying her and having children with her wasn't an option either.

[standlikestone]

She lets out her breath in a rushed exhale that too clearly betrays the anxiety she'd been feeling before his answer. He wants to work towards that. He wants what she wants. It's a good affirmation, even if it's something she'll always worry about.

"If you had... something you could do? Something that's yours, I mean? Not just chores like walking the dogs or things like practicing sparring and all that. More like... stuff you're working towards? ... I dunno."

[bluntforces]

"I mean, 'm working toward the whole CPA thing."

Which was such a good, clean out. A good use of his mind, a steady sort of job to be in; an aboveboard sort of life.

"But, I mean-- ideally, Ri, that'd have me travelling, when I got there. Managing accounts Outside."

[standlikestone]

She bites her lip, then asks, "how long, then? I mean... how long from now until you think you'd be, like, in a job like that?"

[bluntforces]

At least it's a negotiation. At least they're settling into this properly together.

It's a bit cold, doing this in the snow, but that's all right.

"Maybe two-- three years from now."

[standlikestone]

"And- you'd have to get a job right out of college? Could you wait a bit, or would that hurt your chances?"

[bluntforces]

"Well-- how long'd I be waiting? And..." There's the tiniest bit of a frown as he curls his arms a little tighter. "I mean, what-- would I be doin' for money?"

[standlikestone]

"Just... a year, I think." She swallows, then nods. "If you could wait a year and we saved up... and if our baby could just be older when you left. Then we could manage it. I just- don't know if I could do it if you left right after."

[bluntforces]

The frown stays, but pulls into something more thoughtful. "Won't-- leave right off th' bat if there's a kid t' be raising, Ri."

[standlikestone]

"... I know that." But she says it slowly, as if she's only just realizing it now. "I know that. You won't leave."

Not immediately after they had a child. Not like how her father and Uncle Max had left either.

[bluntforces]

"Couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

And he knows it's something she knows. It still feels, somehow, in this moment, like something he needs to make certain she's heard.

"Ain't even leavin' for a day if you need me here, okay?"

[standlikestone]

"And I'll try to not need you- all the time. Okay?" She says it, laughing a little carefully though her eyes are still a little distant. "God - thinking about it too much makes it seem really close. In... in a couple years, we'll probably have a kid."

[bluntforces]

"Married, kid and two dogs, mm?"

And that was a good thing. That was something to build toward--to briefly put wandering aside for.

[standlikestone]

"Oh god." She doesn't mean to sound alarmed - she isn't, really. Just overwhelmed that something so perfect could be her future. "... Evan, I love you."

[bluntforces]

His hand lifts to her hair, smoothing her hair unconsciously protectively for a moment. "Love you more'n I can say, Riley."

[standlikestone]

"So we're gonna figure it out, yeah? It's going to be- amazing." She nods, reaching up to cup his cheek. "So can we get out of the cold now?"